Cycle 2- What We're Using

This year, I have changed our format DRASTICALLY.  After having to leave my mom with a laundry basket of books and a wish for "good luck", I knew this year I wanted more structure.  Previously, I've spent lots of time building out from the Classical Conversations memory work to create a well-rounded program.  This year, since I never know how I'll be from one day to the next, we spent a little more money and exchanged it for my time.

(For the record, my kids were still well over 90th percentile in their standardized testing, so the "good luck" approach seemed to work just fine, but I didn't want to risk that again!)

Here's what we purchased:
History/Bible/Geography (it all comes in one convenient package!) 
Sonlight Core B+C
Sonlight Core B=C 2nd Grade Readers
Sonlight Core B+C Kindergarten Readers
(Already have Story of the World on CD for listening/Story of the World Workbooks for supplementary activities for Riley)

Math
Singapore Math Kindergarten B/Singapore Math 1A
Singapore Math 2A and 2B
(Riley is still finishing up his math, he got a little behind in his workbooks when he focused on multiplication and division speed, but we'll get him into 4A asap, and he's still matching up on his VA SOLs for math as "on grade level" so we're okay)

Language Arts (Reading/Writing/Spelling)
Sonlight Grade 2
Sonlight K (will still use Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons)
The Essentials Program (holy heck is this program both good and INTENSE!)

Handwriting
Handwriting Without Tears K, 2, and Cursive 1

Typing/Computing
Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing for Kids
Austin is going to be teaching the boys computing one evening a week as his class (how fun!)
Savannah will work on Starfall.com for her computer time

Science
This is the one portion that I didn't buy a prepared curriculum for.  We're doing some biology, some astronomy, and some physics in CC, and the kids really like to work along with the memory work here, so I'll still put science together.


Classical Conversations (Memory Program)
Cycle 2 Science Cards
Cycle 2 CD
Cycle 2 flash cards
CC Connected (monthly subscription- the boys like reviewing their memory work this way!)
Trivium Tables for Geography (I find having these makes geography go faster for my little ones)
(Already had the guide, timeline cards)

Checking In

Over the last week and a half, I had my 6 month (!!) MRIs and check up appointments with my oncologist, neurosurgeon, and radiation oncologist.  I don't know if people typically follow up with so many doctors or if I'm just an interesting case so they all want to follow up.  The CERN Foundation posted a picture of "adult ependymomas" the other day, but since I'm an adult with a pediatric presentation, I'm even more weird ;)

My brain appears to have completely healed from where the drain was, and the hydrocephalus is completely gone.  I have no signs of tumor regrowth, although there are some "focii" on my brain stem from the surgery/radiation.  All in all, really really great news.  My next appointments and MRI will be in November, and I am already looking forward to being put on the twice a year/once a year schedule rather than the quarterly schedule I'm on now! MRIs don't bother me, but I'm sick and tired of them!

I'm still incredibly thankful for the many blessings God has given our family during this process.  From Austin's job (love that health insurance!) being so flexible to the amazing and skilled doctors we had access to to all the people who have cared for us to the fact that I am functional, it's been amazing.

50 States: West Virginia

We decided we'd like to take the kids to all 50 states before they leave for college.  We're collecting shirts, too, to turn into a quilt for each of them to take with them.  We started last week with a trip to Wisconsin.

Because I still get tired so quickly, we decided we'd start easy and go to West Virginia to see my godmother, Beth.  It was so nice to get a visit with Beth and her husband David.  Typically, we come out for big events they have for all the cousins in their family, and we don't get to spend a lot of time with them one-on-one, so this was special.  We went to a place called JayDees, which was a combination waterpark/Chuck E. Cheese/putt-putt and they also had a nature center, which was like a fantastic children's museum and was only $5!! The kids had a ton of fun walking around to each of the rooms, although we could only spend an hour because the nature center closed earlier than the rest of the facility, and then we took a short train ride on a mini train so the kids could "pan" for gemstones, which is always a huge hit with Logan who's my little collector.  After that, we went to see Despicable Me 2, which the kids really loved, especially the boys.  The adults all had fun, too, as it was a cute love story without being too lovey-dovey :)

Beth and David were so kind and hospitable, and we enjoyed being with them.  They've totally changed their diet over to organic and mostly fruit and veggie based, and we really enjoyed all the yummy food they had for us.  My kids chowed down on berries, grapes, tomatoes, broccoli, and of course the roast turkey they fixed us for dinner.  We left early in the morning, but we had a great little visit and it was such fun to have Beth and David all to ourselves :)

50 States Before Graduation
2 Down (Virginia, West Virginia)
48 More To Go!!

New CC Group

We're very fortunate in our area because homeschooling is growing, and so is CC! Our area was recently assigned a new community, and while it is very hard to say goodbye to our current community, because I'm still not driving and tire easily, it will be a great advantage to us to be part of a group that's not across town.  In our area, across town can easily mean an hour round trip. 

On Thursday night we were able to go and meet the new director, who is quite lovely.  I'm so excited to work with her over the next year or two, as she's military, so you never know when these wonderful people will be assigned out of your lives!

Going to the meeting on Thursday was a little strange for me because this was the first group of people I've been around who will only know me as an "after".  Our current CC group, for example, knew me before I was sick and loved me while I was in treatment.  They know the Kristina that still exists in my head, who loves to organize and coordinate and plan fun events.  They know Cycle 1 Planbook Kristina and Field Trip Kristina and Tutor Kristina.  Kristina who says "Yes" to everything.

Also, Kristina with hair.

This new group of people will only know post-tumor Kristina.  Kristina who gets tired and needs help and "can't tutor this year because I'm not sure if I'm up to it".  Kristina who says "no" a lot. I kind of hate this Kristina. 

I know that this Kristina is temporary, but it's weird to put myself in a group where I'm just an after.  Hopefully as the time passes, I'll get back to my old self- it's just on my mind.  I know first impressions are important.  There was also a friend of mine who came to the meeting to support a friend who is new to CC, and she asked me after how I tell people, which I had to admit, I didn't really know.  I've never spent time "introducing" my status to people before.  Usually they either know me and are aware of what's been going on with my brain, or they're strangers and don't ask.

Just more new experiences, I suppose!

Anyhow, the main point is that we're excited about our new community, but will miss our old one, too. 

On Worth

Getting better is really hard for me, not because of the physical, but because of the mental.  I am a huge "man up" fan, so dealing with the pain, while not fun, has been okay.  What really bothers me is not being "back to normal" already.  You know, because it's June and I had 16 hours of brain surgery in February, so really, what gives? I know that in the grand scheme of things I am doing way better than we ever could have hoped, but I'm not "back".  I want to be driving and taking care of my kids and my house and back to being myself.  I'm running my website again, which is nice, but based solely on the fact that my website can be done ahead in chunks when I feel good. I pre-post things to facebook/twitter/blogger and then it looks like I'm always doing well :) It's a good trick!

Today, the kids went to camp.  Riley and Logan are doing Cub Scout Camp, which my mom is attending every day.  I know that she loves the kids and she wouldn't do things if she didn't want to, but the fact that she's out there getting bitten up and sunburned instead of me gives me guilt.  Savannah Lynn is doing a skating camp, which I'm sure she'll love, but I've never sent my kids away for a week at such a young age, and I know that the party line around here (because my mom and Austin love me) was that "It wouldn't be fair" for Savannah not to get to do something fun, and not "you're incapable of being fun all day alone", but I know that she's really at camp because I'm not back to being a good enough mom.

It took me a really long time to feel like I was doing anything worthwhile with my life to begin with.  I'd always gone along with the "career first, family later" mentality and really got sucked into "you can be anything you want" idea- but that never included being a mom.  I tied my entire identity into grades and awards and my ability to "be" things and I wanted to have a job title that made me important, so when I had Riley, I struggled to not suck at being a mom and to still be "someone". I'm not sure how many Student Government senators have kids, for example, but I had to keep doing it.  I didn't even tell my professors I was pregnant with Logan until I was 2 weeks from my due date, and then only because one of them asked. When I finished school and started staying home full time, I really struggled, too, because I wasn't "doing anything".  I still felt like I had to prove myself and host more playdates, make sure that Riley and Logan were better at things, push push push.  It wasn't really until after I had Savannah that I had any kind of peace about who I was. 

I spent a lot of time in scripture after Savannah, and really prayed on the idea that my role could be helping Austin and raising our children and that those things weren't just sufficient, they were an entire calling.  It was a totally new perspective for me that washing laundry and feeding my family and loving my kids, when done for a purpose of pleasing God, was enough.  I was enough.  I didn't have to justify myself to anyone, I didn't have to fight to be important, in fact, my marriage got markedly better when I stopped fighting Austin for control of things all the time.  Shocker.  Anyway, that means it basically took me 5 years to get myself together and figure out that being a wife and a mom was worthwhile and that I could pour myself into that and rest in the knowledge that I wasn't just leaching oxygen from the senators, lawyers, and CEOs out there.

Now, because I can't even do that, I'm really struggling again.  Today, I made pretzels.  The kids were at camp, I felt pretty good, I decided to make pretzels.  It took me a long time because I'm still slower than normal- although nowhere near as bad as I was- and by the time I was done and cleaned up I was exhausted.

Today, all I did was make pretzels.

Is that worth anything? Do my doctors ever go home at night and think about what a waste of effort I must seem? Hundreds of thousands of dollars have gone into my care, and countless man hours in medical staff planning and operating and implementing and following up.  So much work and effort and money...

And today, I was exhausted by pretzels.

I've been trying to take advantage of my "time off" to really think about what my life should look like and what is really important in my days, which has been fantastic to ruminate about, but it's also frustrating to decide about what's important and what I want the structure of my days to look like and not to be able to do it- not to actually be able to implement those things in my days.

Soon enough, I suppose.  But, for now, if you'd like a pretzel, they're on my counter.

Summer Starts

 The kids have been a little bit of trouble over the last few days because they know their public school friends stopped going to classes, so being "forced" under "extreme duress" to continue to do their core work and some fun summer modules (mostly Astronomy- who doesn't love Astronomy??) is like pulling teeth.  However, from me being sick, we're behind where I want them to be, even though we're not "behind" at all, and so they're going to have to suck it up, buttercup.  Savannah, my big girl Kindergartner, however, is happy to do any work at all, anytime, without whining or complaining.  Especially when Grammy, who's still head teacher, is giving out lollipops :)

 Summer also means the beginning of swim team.  That means Saturdays start early and are spent outside hanging out between events.  The kids seem to have fun, and I love that they're in the pool every day.  I walked over to the meet on Saturday- 6am-12pm is too long for me still, but I got to watch the relays at the end, and I loved this picture of Logan and Savannah hanging out when I arrived.  I think Riley was still in clerk of course from butterfly or breast.  Logan and Savannah are a funny little duo.  Logan is actually a very wonderful big brother, protective, loving, and willing to include Savannah.  He's not, however, interested in competing with Riley for Savannah's attention, so he will actually ignore her or seem a little aloof when Riley is around and trying to get Savannah to like him better.  I enjoy seeing just the two of them because they are very sweet together.

This Week and Next Year

This week has been both good and bad- the steroids that the doctors at Duke put me on have made my head feel so much clearer and given me a great deal of energy, but they're also giving me joint pain and making it hard to sleep.  Today is my last daily dose and then I switch to every-other-day for two weeks, so I'm hoping that will cut back on some of the less desirable side effects.

Having less pain and more energy is nice, though! Yesterday evening I got to go out for a little bit with Savannah Lynn and my momma, which was just such a beautiful thing.  We stopped by a grand opening of a local store that had invited me out (I have another blog that people actually read, so sometimes I get to go to cool things!) and that was so neat because we got gift certificates for the salon we use in our swag bags!  My mom has been here helping out with the kids since the end of her classes in December, so she's not working and I know that's meant a lot of financial sacrifice on her part, so it was exciting that she gets a treat! If I had a million dollars it would not be enough to compensate her for all the work she's done with the kids, but I'd be happy to write that check!  After that, we ran over to Children's Place to pick up some essentials for Savannah for skating camp.  The boys are doing Cub Scout Camp one week this summer and Savannah is going to do one week of skating camp.  Children's Place is always having a sale, and they had thin-weight yoga pants, perfect for on and off the ice.  Plus, they have Savannah's favorite underclothes, and that girl is PICKY about undergarments!  I was done walking then, but we sat outside at Cheesecake Factory and shared some food.  It was a lovely evening to begin with, but the manager put the heat lamps on, and it was beautiful.

Sometimes I find myself waxing nostalgic after all of this.  How lucky am I that I can sit and feel the wind blowing in my face and watch my daughter smile at me from across the table? How very blessed to be here breathing.  Amazing.  If I've learned anything this year, it is to be thankful daily because the future is so uncertain!

Speaking of uncertain, we got an email today that Classical Conversations is opening a campus in our actual neighborhood instead of across town.  We already have two CC campuses in driving distance, but the one we belong to requires a 30 minute cross-town drive each Thursday, not to mention that most of the social events take place on that side of town, too.

I'm not sure how many families will switch, what building will house us, and the director is moving here from out of state, so I don't know what she'll be like.  I know that it will be nice to be closer to home, especially since I'm still not driving and am wary about it, but I also know that I already pulled Riley out of public school and asked him to adjust to CC, and I have guilt about pulling him to a new community.  I know that our friends from the other community will still be available, but I also know it makes it harder, and I don't know how many kids I'll be offering him in our new setting.  I also don't have a particularly high opinion of the way the communities function together- something I wish that was more collaborative than separatist, I suppose, but I'm sure the directors have their reasons for keeping very firm lines in the sand.

Anyway, so there's lots to think about now, and more uncertainty.  Just when you're sitting at dinner thinking you've got it all figured out....